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<- whoa!
no users online right now.
the haul
the haulDamnit.
don't know what the hell is going on? neither do we! here's an illustrated explanation.
look at all this new stuff down here. it's all brand spanking new, guy!
hey. you're a clown. did you know that below the most recent three updates and on that sidebar thing there are just sacks and sacks of quick reviews for our favorite albums and virtual console releases on the wii? they're called quick hits, go lay some cones and rods on them.
you there, the basement-dwelling momma's boy. we want to hear from you. what do you think about our shit storm of a site? what about it sucks ass? what do you dig? we're hear to listen. we're here to care. we're also here to make fun of you publicly if you send us hate mail. but whatever you do, do it hard.
look at all this new stuff down here. it's all brand spanking new, guy!
hey. you're a clown. did you know that below the most recent three updates and on that sidebar thing there are just sacks and sacks of quick reviews for our favorite albums and virtual console releases on the wii? they're called quick hits, go lay some cones and rods on them.
you there, the basement-dwelling momma's boy. we want to hear from you. what do you think about our shit storm of a site? what about it sucks ass? what do you dig? we're hear to listen. we're here to care. we're also here to make fun of you publicly if you send us hate mail. but whatever you do, do it hard.
it's stuck!
"NINTENDO FRIENDY-CODE LIST"
7:17:37 am, fri, apr 11th, 2008 pdt
chains worth a damn!
Dynamite Kingdom: Garages Full of Old Men
Dynamite Kingdom
The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 10 (Dialup users need not apply.)
Spoony's Phantom Brave Playthrough
The Adventurer's Field Guide, page 98: Ruins of Butt Swamp
The Adventurer's Field Guide
NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page
VIEWTIFUL GONTERMAN
Youtube Gangbang 5/11/08
YouTube Gangbang
recent quick hits!
VC Quick Hit - Moto Roader (TG16)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
LostWinds (WiiWare)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
dr. dog - easy beat (2005)
Album Quick Hits
Kirby's Avalanche (SNES)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
River City Ransom (NES)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
recent rawks!
"Youtube Gangbang 5/11/08"
RedCappy rawked!
1:33:04 am, fri, may 16th, 2008 pdt
"NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page"
Megido rawked!
12:47:56 am, thu, may 15th, 2008 pdt
"NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
12:47:45 am, thu, may 15th, 2008 pdt
"Ten RPGs I Liked in the Sixth Generation"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
11:12:13 pm, wed, may 14th, 2008 pdt
"Ten RPGs I Liked in the Sixth Generation"
Shyna El Mensajero rawked!
10:58:18 pm, wed, may 14th, 2008 pdt
"Youtube Gangbang 5/11/08"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
8:03:33 pm, mon, may 12th, 2008 pdt
"Youtube Gangbang 5/11/08"
Dudley rawked!
12:15:24 am, mon, may 12th, 2008 pdt
"NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page"
SOUND FX rawked!
11:17:17 pm, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt
"NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page"
Angry Video Game Nerd rawked!
10:44:51 pm, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt
"NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
10:43:34 pm, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt
recent bombs!
"Boss Battle in Egypt"
Spoony Spoonicus bombed 5 times!
1:43:40 pm, mon, may 5th, 2008 pdt
"YouTube Gangbang 04/20/08"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
5:22:24 pm, mon, apr 21st, 2008 pdt
"Search Icon"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
12:40:47 am, sat, apr 19th, 2008 pdt
"Mont Foyeur's First Map"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
6:33:54 pm, mon, apr 14th, 2008 pdt
"Two hookers and an eight ball!"
Spoony Spoonicus bombed 5 times!
5:40:03 pm, mon, apr 14th, 2008 pdt
that's it, douche!
reviews
"LostWinds (WiiWare)"
Dudley ->
<- 1:23:33 am, thu, may 15th, 2008 pdt <- update!.
"I dont think it's right to make a whole new chain to review WiiWare titles, but i dont think its right to put them straight in to the older updates with the rest of the quick hits either, so im just going to put it in the VC quickhits and not tag the "piddly shit" box. ¶ LostWinds is a short, relaxing as hell little exploratory adventure game. As with most games in this genre, the focus is he..."
"LostWinds (WiiWare)"Dudley ->
<- 1:23:33 am, thu, may 15th, 2008 pdt <- update!."I dont think it's right to make a whole new chain to review WiiWare titles, but i dont think its right to put them straight in to the older updates with the rest of the quick hits either, so im just going to put it in the VC quickhits and not tag the "piddly shit" box. ¶ LostWinds is a short, relaxing as hell little exploratory adventure game. As with most games in this genre, the focus is he..."
heckles
"My Own Personal Asylum, Chapter 1"
RahuBrouhaha ->
<- 3:40:54 pm, thu, may 15th, 2008 pdt <- update!.
"Sampling arguably the least crazy fic in the guy's One Piece heading (ironic, considering the name), because I really don't want to read Eyeshield 21 yaoi or anything involving Sailor Moon. Enjoy! ¶ This fic is basically my dumping grounds for random ideas, ¶ That could be argued of everything you write. ¶ If you're going to write a story, you don't use the final draft as a "dumpin..."
"My Own Personal Asylum, Chapter 1"RahuBrouhaha ->
<- 3:40:54 pm, thu, may 15th, 2008 pdt <- update!."Sampling arguably the least crazy fic in the guy's One Piece heading (ironic, considering the name), because I really don't want to read Eyeshield 21 yaoi or anything involving Sailor Moon. Enjoy! ¶ This fic is basically my dumping grounds for random ideas, ¶ That could be argued of everything you write. ¶ If you're going to write a story, you don't use the final draft as a "dumpin..."
heckles
"Fanfiction.Net Profile"
RahuBrouhaha -> <- 12:38:30 pm, wed, may 14th, 2008 pdt <- update!.
"Something I found during my journeys through the realms of bad fan fiction, written by a goof named Rahu Roux. He's got no shortage of dumb fanfics (which we'll dig into soon), but I felt his profile was heckle-worthy in and of itself, so let's have at it! ¶ Author has written 50 stories for Code Lyoko, Jak and Daxter, Teen Titans, ¶ Arguably the worst American-made cartoon of all time...."
"Fanfiction.Net Profile"RahuBrouhaha ->
<- 12:38:30 pm, wed, may 14th, 2008 pdt <- update!."Something I found during my journeys through the realms of bad fan fiction, written by a goof named Rahu Roux. He's got no shortage of dumb fanfics (which we'll dig into soon), but I felt his profile was heckle-worthy in and of itself, so let's have at it! ¶ Author has written 50 stories for Code Lyoko, Jak and Daxter, Teen Titans, ¶ Arguably the worst American-made cartoon of all time...."
that's the latest of the bunch.
do you want some more crap?
here you go.
do you want some more crap?
here you go.
-> "VC Quick Hit - Moto Roader (TG16)" -> reviews3:39:13 am, fri, may 16th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"A great overhead racer that doesn't stand out when you initially start the game, there are actually quite a large number of courses for you to select from each ranging from standard circuits to circuits filled with traps and jumps. But the real kicker is that between matches you can spend prize money on your car and upgrade parts, install items or buy weapons to create the ultimate racing machine..."
-> "Ten RPGs I Liked in the Sixth Generation" -> reviews8:12:25 pm, mon, may 12th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"People tell me I do too many negative reviews, and I can only agree.So I decided to make a list of ten games I liked in order to offset my Top Ten Worst RPGs of the Generation list. ¶ 10. Dragon Quest 8 ¶ Ah, the underdog series itself.I found myself addicted to the first one back in the day, plugging away at it for a few hours at a time until I finally got a high enough level to conquer..."
-> "dr. dog - easy beat (2005)" -> music12:31:02 pm, mon, may 12th, 2008 pdt
"An album to listen to while driving around with the dudes on a sunny summer day, wasting time, getting slurpies, with shiteating grins on your face. ¶ For bonus points, record the whole thing on a terrible VHS recorder and play the album over a very rough cut of all of the footage."
-> "Youtube Gangbang 5/11/08" -> random insanity12:08:56 am, mon, may 12th, 2008 pdt
"VIDEO RELAY ACTIVATED... ¶ DEFAULT VIDEO LOADED: ¶ IF 'YOUTUBEGANGBANG'= ONTIME THEN INITIATE 'PARTYTIME'"
-> "The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 1 (Dialup users need not apply.)" -> let's play8:33:14 pm, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"I decided to take a break from Tales of Destiny (and RPGs in general) for a while, as I've really played little else in the last year or so, and I've whittled down my enormous backlog to about 5 games now anyway. Instead, I've decided to bring you my favorite game in Nippon Ichi's strategy series, Phantom Brave. ¶ Phantom Brave seems to be the black sheep of the series, as the plotline is mo..."
-> "Tales from Spoony's Pit of Technological Terror: the Virtual Boy project"5:34:39 pm, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"I'd been interested in one of these things for a while, but unfortunately, the platform dying off even quicker than the ol' 32X had made it quite rare and expensive. Fortunately for me, Game Force had gotten one used, with five games bundled in with it. The only catch was that one of the eyepieces wasn't working; they said they'd try to get that repaired and get back to me. ¶ Well I waited..."
-> "The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 6 (Dialup users need not apply.)" -> let's play5:27:17 pm, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Back for another chapter, and I've done a bit more work. Generated two new nine-point characters - Master Shake the Mystic (name courtesy of Rattar) and Belchosneech the Archer (name courtesy of Shittle). With this, we now have a team of seven fighting Phantoms. We'll even still have enough capacity left over to summon 1-2 extras, just in case we need to snap up some extra items with Kyle the B..."
-> "The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 10 (Dialup users need not apply.)" -> let's play1:48:00 am, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Did a bit more random dungeoning to get Belchosneech and Master Shake up to speed, and picked up some new monster classes in the process. ¶ ¶ Mimics, like Slimes, have pretty low stats all-around; their only saving grace is their very high Defense. As their desciptor implies, you can have one of your party members wield them to give themselves a major defensive boost in a pinch (a tac..."
-> "The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 3 (Dialup users need not apply.)" -> let's play1:31:21 am, fri, may 9th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Click here to go back to Part 2. If you came here from a search engine or something, click here to go back to Part 1. ¶ Back again, and I've been quite busy between chapters: ¶ ¶ I've cleared several more random dungeons and gained enough levels to put my battle characters up to 40! I also took the liberty of "Rebirthing" Ms. Knuckles and Red Arremer as 10-point characters (read..."
-> "The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 9 (Dialup users need not apply.)" -> let's play8:56:21 pm, thu, may 8th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Surprisingly short chapter this time - only four fights and some short dialog scenes. ¶ ¶ I've heard of several desert islands, but never one actually named that. ¶ ¶ Oh, I get it! ¶ ¶ This is all sounding very familiar. ¶ ¶ Are you by chance related to Buggy the Clown? ¶ ¶ We've beaten both him and his impostor before, why not? ¶..."
-> "Top Ten Series' that have Jumped the Shark" -> reviews5:52:28 pm, thu, may 8th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"I know first-hand that every series is bound to have a bad game here and there, either due to being rushed or just running into a dry period and rehashing ideas from old games, but a few series stick out in my mind that have taken the fall and never been the same since.Being a guy who likes writing top ten lists, I'll go ahead and give you my top ten most shark-jumping series' in recent memory. &p..."
-> "SGL's Devastatingly Lewd Shit, Chapter 14" -> heckles8:17:36 pm, tue, may 6th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"You know the drill. Come drunk, and make sure you're within adequate distance of a vomit depository. ¶ Nami’s Dark Little Secret ¶ Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. ¶ No "Rated M" disclaimer this time? Funny, this chapter is probably the most deserving of any of them. ¶ Perhaps our author has realized that there's much more to being "mature" than gore, cursing and sex...."
-> "For the 3rd time, NO."11:35:01 pm, mon, may 5th, 2008 pdt
"We've had people phone us looking for someone not living here, and tell them they've got the wrong number. These people usually don't call back. Today, though, we got a call from some idiot who just couldn't seem to understand her friend DID NOT live at our house. I had no idea why she couldn't figure this out. ¶ My mom and I were talking, and then the phone started ringing. Mom got it, a..."
-> "Shit Piece Chapter 19" -> heckles11:32:50 am, mon, may 5th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"The Shit Piece experience in a nutshell. ¶ Here it is, the final chapter. And holy shit is it long. But stick with it valiant Lardpirates, the finish line is in sight! ¶ No, really. See, it's that blue banner across the sea of boiling shit there. Look! ¶ I'm coming at this one straight and ugly. ¶ Alcohol fridge fully stocked. ¶ Hopped up on enough performance enhancer..."
-> "The Adventurer's Field Guide, page 98: Ruins of Butt Swamp" -> random insanity11:11:46 am, mon, may 5th, 2008 pdt
"Dungeons, caverns and ruins you have read about so far, dear adventurer, for the most part have gained their names from something totally unrelated to what you should actually expect when you get there. This, however, is Butt Swamp. That's all we're going to say about that, other than paying a visit to Bulge Castle may be a good idea before taking on any quest you have within. The "ruins" part co..."
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all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
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